Monday, October 23, 2006

From My Summer Album

This is me on the bench again. I decided I would have breakfast there (see earlier lessons on how to get what you want).

This is Squeaky Ninja. I hate him.

This is Sophie. I despise her.

A Request Has Poured In

Yes, my friends, I've had a request from a reader who's missing me. So it's a big "Thank You!" to my old friend D-, whom I've known since I was a kitten.

I know you're all desperate to hear from me, just as D- is. Well, I've had an eventful summer (more of that later), and it's hectic at the moment as my garden has been invaded by other cats. Not just the repellent Sophie, who can't keep her ridiculously ringed tail off my property (more of her another day, too).

No, there are two tomcats wandering in here at all hours, bold as brass. One's fat and a splodgy black and white. He's quite polite, apart from spraying the plants and climbing My Favourite Tree. He runs away from Mum; she says he lives down at the bottom of the hill, so I say his being in my garden is a mystery and a damned cheek.

The other tomcat is real trouble, though: he's tall, thin and athletic. Mum made friends with him after a while (he made her jump a few times in the dark as he's all black and she didn't know he was visiting). She called him Squeaky 'cos he squeaks when he talks to her - but now she's not talking to him at all because (and I still feel rather embarrassed and traumatised by this) on Friday morning he beat me up and chased me in my own garden! Yes! Me! Humble superstar that I am, beloved of millions. Minding my own business, walking home to breakfast and - BAM! - all at once I'm rolling across the patio into the flowerpots in the arms of a noisy stranger, fighting for my life. At my age! I don't need this sort of thing.

My humans were very good of course, chasing him off and then comforting me when I came home. Mum let me onto the bed where I snoozed all day, waking every couple of hours for back rubs, health checks and food (Sheba!) served on the floor next to the bed - an unheard-of treat but thoroughly deserved, of course. I really can't complain (but sometimes I still do). They've been taking great care of me since then, trying to get rid of Squeaky Ninja as he's now known and feeding me indoors or standing guard over me outside - makes me feel like royalty (which of course I am to them). But he's even more persistent than I am, and he's been round three times already today.

Well, that's enough for now. Mum is trying to find some pictures from the summer and I trust she will do the job properly. I posed for several pictures and if she can't find them now that's her own fault.

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