Thursday, October 23, 2008

Is It Me? You Ask

Among my many friends and wellwishers, some have been asking me whether I've been working on the Purina ad account: they detect my style in phrases such as, "Hah! Humans don't understand...". Now, this is just silly, for several reasons:-

1. I am a cat, and 'cats do not do the 'W' word'. It is beneath our dignity, and would compromise our independence. The only acceptable work for a cat is mousing, because it fits in with our natural inclinations - it's what we would be doing anyway. There is, of course, a difference between work mousing, which is where you clear your human's property of mice and other rodents, and leisure mousing, which is where you go out and catch mice and other rodents and bring them back to your human's property. You may have to explain this to your human.

2. I have never heard of Purina Gourmet Solitaire.

3. If I designed an advertisment for cat food, it would feature a stunning yet humble and lovable DSH in a fetching black-and-white combo, not something which resembles a large feather duster from which the stick has been removed.

4. Although "Hah! Humans don't understand..." may sound like the sort of thing I say, that doesn't mean I wrote it. One writer can quite unconsciously copy another's style, as any fule no.

So there you have it. Not my work. And as for having a Personal Shopper to buy your food for you: what nonsense! I don't have a Personal Shopper, I have staff.

Please note that views expressed by Daisy are not necessarily those of her staff.

Saturday, October 18, 2008


Greetings, my friends! You've missed me, I know, but I have been away on my holidays. Yes, I spent a happy two weeks in Pussy Prison, or to give it its real title, The Cattery. I suppose my humans think I like it there, and wanted to give me a break from my routine, staying with my old friend Mrs X.

As hotels go, it wasn't bad: I know my way around now, and Mrs X is really very nice - and when I opened my suitcase I found that Mum had thoughtfully packed a rattly ball, Mr Mouse and a pair of catnip socks, so I was able to relax and unwind with a few games and a bit of the old suck'n'sniff. After a while, Mum and Dad sent me a postcard to tell me they missed me. I ignored it. If they missed me THAT much they'd come and see me, am I right? Words are cheap.

Well, blow me, they did turn up, and soon I was back at home, in fact I was straight through the house and out into the woods, where I stayed for the next day (pausing only for a snack, of course). After that, it was business as usual for yours truly.

But I was thinking of you while I was away, and soon I shall share some more of my wisdom with you.

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