Thursday, December 24, 2009

How To Be Annoying

Annoying your humans is something of a duty for cats. Humans expect it, and it's great fun: it requires subtlety, guile, timing and a delicate judgement of people and situations which can be an extremely satisfying intellectual challenge.

But sometimes you can go too far, as I found out yesterday.

You see, Mum had been out finishing off the Christmas chores in town, where she'd got out of her car to be pelted with hailstones and then heavy rain, to a backdrop of thunder and lightening. Even so, she'd checked out the catfood offers for me like I'd asked her, and she'd done everything that needed doing for the rest of the family. When she got home, soaking wet, with dripping bags of shopping, I asked to go out and investigate the weather, and I spent a happy two hours running round the garden and the woods while she busied herself about the house. Finally I saw her making a cup of tea in the kitchen, so I came back in, got dried off and went about my business. As she sank onto the sofa with her tea, and selected the last untried flavour of Christmas chocolate, I saw her nose twitch and she realised what my 'business' had been. I thought this was hilarious, and I ran around her legs as she went to investigate, but all that earned me was a shout of, "Why couldn't you do that in the woods?", followed by "Out! Out!", as I tried to suggest that since she was paying attention to my litter tray, she might like to think about feeding me as I was now rather empty.

And you know, she never tells me off. I was wide-eyed with astonishment and I made myself scarce for a full 30 seconds. (I knew she'd forgive me. And feed me.)

She did.

But it was a lesson, pussies, a real lesson not to push your humans too far. Especially at this season of goodwill. So here's Daisy's Christmas message to the feline world for 2009:

Be nice to your humans. It's only for one day, and then life can get back to normal.

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